2007 Form Challenges
#9 Pantoum Sonnet

The Pantoum was originally a Malaysian form of poetry, but was adopted and adapted by the French and became very popular with them, Fouinet, Hugo and Baudelaire, being amongst the foremost users of this form. The rhyme pattern is as follows; A1, B1, A2, B2, ... B1, C1, B2. C2, etc.
Unlike most of these strict repeating forms the Pantoum has no set stanza count or need for the last stanza to repeat back to the first. However, the Pantoum lends itself very easily to the sonnet form, and it is only necessary to present three stanzas and the final two lines can come either from the third stanza to form the final couplet as if it were the Malay form, or in keeping with the spirit of the French form and circling back with the reversed couplets (A2, A1).
It is suggested, the repetition would make it a very powerful sonnet form:

Xtinction

Ignoring that everyday a species dies
The Japanese world is filled with crime
Presenting us with outrageous lies.
Allowing the extinct list to climb.
The Japanese world is filled with crime
Their Whaling ships scour the seas
Forcing the extinct list to climb.
Making profit for their companies.
Their Whaling ships scour the seas
Deaf and blind to the worlds cries
Making profit for their companies.
Typically not feeling humanities.
Deaf and blind to the worlds cries
Ignoring that everyday a species dies.


Ryter Roethicle

It may be noticed that this example uses a mixture of both forms. In the couplet, the first line is the Malaysian version, D1, and the last line links back like the French version, A1.

The final alternative closure is to use a new couplet E1. E2. This would be extremely useful in the Free Pantoum version.



Pantoum Sonnet Challenge Replies



Maryse Achong

Arrive Alive
Labour Day Celebrations
Loverly
Softly
Still Shining
Thoughts on a Fathers Day

Lorraine Dafney

Over Tea

Ryter Roethicle

Again and Again
Chiave Di Amori
Clair de lune
Foggy Paths
I See Winter
Jungle
Prisoner
Puzzle that is me
Quality Beach
Quetzal
Though cloaked in Darkness
When
Writers Block
Zet Machis (Stupid)

Leny Roovers

Construction XII
Fruit Bearing
Loving You II
Loving Thee
Reflections
Summers Breeze

Trewir Wintlek

A Most Pleasurable Day
Arousing and Overflowing Nature
Dedication of my heart
Dreams of love long ago
Drifting Stars
Ending of Stars
For The People
Speechless

Nicola Wynter

Blooming Roses
Oceans Depth
Over and Over



Maryse Achong

Arrive Alive

They get behind the wheel, and people die,
Victims of drivers who have ‘lost control’,
No comforting those left behind who cry,
With no end to the spiralling death toll.
Victims of drivers who have ‘lost control’,
People who drink and insist they can drive,
With no end to the spiralling death toll,
Yet often they’re the ones who will survive.
People who drink and insist they can drive,
Their car a death trap in their drunken state,
Yet often they’re the ones who will survive,
Their remorse after, ‘too little too late.’
‘Arrive Alive’ the slogan’s everywhere,
It has not stopped the carnage that’s out there.

-----

Labour Day Celebrations

Today Unions celebrate Labour Day,
As their members parade the streets en masse,
A chance for them to speak, to have their say,
Although within their ranks there’s an impasse.
As their members parade the streets en masse
“Forward ever, backward never” they chant,
Although within their ranks there’s an impasse;
Some things they agree on, others they can’t.
“Forward ever, backward never,” they chant,
Yet still their ‘unity’ is somewhat flawed,
Some things they agree on, others they can’t,
Divided loyalties - a two edged sword.
And whilst some of the leaders seem quite glum,
The crowds are singing “We shall overcome,”

-----

Loverly

Love is supposed to be a joyous thing,
A time when all the world seems glorious,
When happy thoughts fill minds and make hearts sing,
And spirits are gentle and generous
A time when all the world seems glorious,
For problems shared are problems halved, you see,
And spirits are gentle and generous,
For love makes us the best that we can be.
For problems shared are problems halved, you see,
When each one knows the other’s love is true,
For love makes us the best that we can be,
Secure that our beloved loves us too.
When there is trust being in love is good,
Without trust we’re just ‘spinning top in mud.’

-----

Softly

Though I thought I’d recall each time I cried,
I lost count of my tears along the way;
Still I am sure somewhere some seas have dried:
Life was a dark tunnel, no light of day.
I lost count of my tears along the way,
Too many losses to withstand the pain,
Life was a dark tunnel, no light of day,
I thought that I would never smile again.
Too many losses to withstand the pain,
So many reasons for my great distress,
I thought that I would never smile again,
My life was in turmoil I must confess.
But time and memories are life’s sweet balm,
And after raging storms there comes the calm.

-----

Still Shining

There was a time I had stars in my eyes,
Life dimmed them until they no longer shone
And happy laughter was replaced with sighs;
I felt the few stars left had fin’lly flown.
Life dimmed them until they no longer shone,
I believed this for I’d become near blind,
I felt the few stars left had fin’lly flown,
I did not know some light was left behind.
I believed this for I’d become near blind,
My eyes were clouded so I could not see,
I did not know some light was left behind
Great joy still lay ahead in life for me.
Though great joy lay ahead in life for me
My eyes were blinded so I could not see.

-----

Thoughts on a Father's Day

Another Father’s Day has come around,
Another day of wishing you were here,
And although many years have flown I’ve found
I miss you just as much, year after year.
Another day of wishing you were here,
Although I know you’d run your earthly race,
I miss you just as much year after year,
I would give anything to see you face.
Although I know you’d run your earthly race,
That you were weary then, ready to go,
I would give anything to see your face,
But you are happy where you are I know.
So Dad if you’re around you’ll hear me say
“I love and miss you, Happy Father’s Day.”

back to list

Lorraine Dafney

Over Tea

Come sit and have a cup of tea,
as steam rises, we shall both dream
of younger days, when time was free
and the world's future looked supreme.
As steam rises we shall both dream,
try to picture memory lane
and follow the moon's, bright moon beams
that float on the past's open plains.
Try to picture memory lane,
where pretty wild flowers grow tall
beside promises that remain,
peace waits, patiently, for its call.
Where pretty wild flowers grow tall,
come sit and have a cup of tea.

back to list

Ryter Roethicle

Again and Again

Again and again, I kiss your lips
Knowing you can no longer feel me
Nor feel the touch of my fingertips
But I remember what used to be
Knowing you can no longer feel me
No longer able to feel your heat
But I remember what used to be
How strong our hearts used to beat.
No longer can I feel your heat
For fate has made us part
How strong our hearts used to beat.
Yet I know I can feel your heart.
For fate has made us part
Yet I know I can feel your heart.

-----

Claire de Lune

The moonlight shines on singing waters
a chorus repeated by humming stones
a composition of competing meters
that brings peace to my stressed bones.
A chorus repeated by humming stones
under the light of a strawberry moon
that brings peace to my stressed bones,
it’s not hard for a soul to become attuned.
Under the light of a strawberry moon
two lovers watch falling under its spell.
It’s not hard for a soul to become attuned,
As older lovers know only too well.
The moonlight shines on singing waters
a composition of competing meters.

-----

Chiave Di Amori

I have sucked thy nipples, wanting more
Knowing as I do so thou mayst please me
Those sweet tasty acorns swell and grow.
That from thee juices flow that I may see
Knowing as I do so thou mayst please me
Thy flowing juices of which I sup so avidly
That from thee juices flow that I may see
And in thy flow I may sup and add my key
Thy flowing juices of which I sup so avidly
So in a given time from it heaven pours
And in thy flow I may sup and add my key
That key may open so many closed doors
And so in joining thee as pleasure flows
I may add my simple gift of love to yours.

-----

Foggy Paths

The air is still, with no sound to tell the way,
and a poor mortal stumbles in the mist
of self survival that in time can only betray
and wondering why, and the worth to exist.
There is no beginning or end to this mist
and the only escape is by way of dreams
that shows of an idyllic way to exist
so the mind conceives various schemes.
Is it wrong to believe in these dreams
and cut away the past with a surgeons knife
trying to alter those damaging schemes,
or just survive and live a mindless life?
The air is still, with no sound to tell the way,
does one need survive and live a mindless life?

-----

I See Winter

At the river I see the colours of the earth
Winters water, darkness mixed with white
This apparent death in reality gives birth
When the cold south wind is at its height.
Winters water, darkness mixed with white
I have watched it change before my eyes
When the cold south wind is at its height
There is a lull and a sudden change in skies.
I have watched it change before my eyes
As northerly winds bring warmth again
There is a lull and a sudden change in skies
Once again winter returns and with it rain.
At the river I see the colours of the earth
This apparent death in reality gives birth

-----

Jungle

How much freer is the Jungle of Reality
At home amongst the hardwood trees?
I feel the energy seeping back into me
In this lush shelter, I can do as I please.
At home amongst the hardwood trees.
Civilisation has not left it’s bitter scar
In this lush shelter, I can do as I please
Its here I will build my final gunyah
Civilisation has not left it’s bitter scar
The wounds are in the jungle of my mind
Its here I will build my final gunyah
Here I will rest till eternal peace I find.
The wounds are in the jungle of my mind
How much freer is the Jungle of Reality?

-----

Prisoner

Like a prisoner you have me bound to you
but not with chains of hard blue steel,
or counting days and weeks till freedoms due,
and there are no prison bars, my hands to feel
There are no chains of hard blue steel,
or fear of breakout or escape, no strike or coup
and there are no prison bars, my hands to feel
I'll be a model prisoner, a trustee, not go askew
No fear of breakout or escape, no strike or coup
I have a wound from cupid’s dart that will not heal
I'll be a model prisoner, a trustee, not go askew
my life is sealed by chance, with just one deal
Like a prisoner you have me bound to you
My life is sealed by chance, with just one deal

-----

Puzzle that is Me

Some pieces have dropped on the floor
The jig-saw that is me is laid out to see.
Long forgotten, thought hid forevermore
Would you pick those pieces up carefully?
The jig-saw that is me is laid out to see.
Make sure the corners and edges are first.
Would you pick those pieces up carefully,
This outer shell that has taken the worst?
Make sure the corners and edges are first.
Piece by piece I shape and come into view
This outer shell that has taken the worst?
Scarred and battered pieces the final few.
Now it is completed tell me what you see
What’s before you is the puzzle that is me.

-----

Quality Beach

Look into my eyes, as the moon lights the night
The oceans waves continue to dance for you
Percussion sounding as each wave retreats
Sending out its Bolero rhythm on the stone.
The oceans waves continue to dance for you
There is no warm softness ever like this night
Sending out its Bolero rhythm on the stone
We press close together so our hearts may kiss
There is no warm softness ever like this night
Save the smile on your lips I’ve come to know
We press close together so our hearts may kiss
The world becomes still savouring the moment
And we will be held together forever like this
By everlasting memories of this night.

-----

Quetzal

Hear the drumbeat of my heart as you near
Pounding, beating with my desire for you
The canyons echo the pulsing rhythm of love
As our bodies meld in the eternal dance.
Pounding, beating with my desire for you
The throbbing of my heart takes control
As our bodies meld in the eternal dance
The flaming of our souls joins us forever.
The throbbing of my heart takes control
I am lost, blinded in your passions heat
The flaming of our souls joins us forever
Forever I will know that we are the Sun
Forever I will know that we are the Sun
And future lovers will look to us.

-----

Though cloaked in darkness

Though cloaked in darkness, there is yet light
The far flown hope may yet become a dream
By consuming the fuel of self it’s kept bright
Keeping warm in that glow see hopes gleam.
The far flown hope may yet become a dream
And what are dreams but tomorrow’s reality
Keeping warm in that glow see hopes gleam.
That warmth becomes a fire for all eternity.
And what are dreams but tomorrow’s reality
The gate to freedom that is opened by belief
That warmth becomes a fire for all eternity.
And that belief with time will bring relief.
Though cloaked in darkness, there is yet light
And that belief with time will bring relief.

-----

When

When only your dreams and the stars are left
And the moon has deserted the morning sky
When the winds finally sleep enjoying their rest
And clouds are gone and there is no lullaby.
When the moon has deserted the morning sky
And birds no longer silenced go about the day
When clouds are gone and there is no lullaby
Instead the sun’s out and once again we pray.
When birds no longer silenced go about the day
Searching parched earth for food and life
When the sun’s out and once again we pray
For rain and cool and an end to this strife.
When man finally realises what he has to give
In order that the he and the world may live.

-----

Writers block

My rhymes don’t have that ring
and my metre seems to chatter
my concentration doesn’t have that zing
and all my words just seem like clatter
and my metre seems to chatter
imagery is faded like watercolours in the rain
and all my words just seem like clatter
everything is meaningless, every line’s a strain.
imagery is faded like watercolours in the rain
staring blankly at the screen until I want to shout
everything is meaningless, every line’s a strain
I don’t know what to say and nothing will come out.
I don’t know what to say and nothing will come out
staring blankly at the screen until I want to shout.

-----

Zet Machis (Stupid)

Gliding off into the depths of time
A mixture of frustration and hope
Fuel the imagination in my mind
From gathered parts that built a boat.
A mixture of frustration and hope
With a wish to sail endless dreams
From gathered parts that built a boat.
And set out to let off some steam.
With a wish to sail endless dreams
Those dreams with faces never shown
And set out to let off some steam.
Seeking a destiny that I’ve outgrown
A mixture of frustration and hope
Seeking a destiny that I’ve outgrown.

back to list

Leny Roovers

Construction XII

Gone are the treetops from my sight,
they disappeared behind brick walls-
as highrise grows, expands its blight.
Sharp metal clanging blocks birds’ calls.
They disappeared behind brick walls
as floors were added day by day;
sharp metal clanging blocks birds’ calls-
spoiled is my view of trees in sway.
As floors were added day by day,
my room grew darker, missed Sun’s touch;
spoiled is my view of trees in sway-
stolen my joy in sparrows’ clutch.
Gone are the treetops from my sight,
As highrise grows, expands its blight.

-----

Fruit-bearing

Young Summer’s pregnant belly is extending-
as seeds were planted in her womb in spring,
she did conceive- awaits the perfect blending
love's consummation rites at last will bring.
As seeds were planted in her womb in spring,
her offered body opened to receive.
Then consummation rites at last will bring
her lovers’ offspring from her birthing heaves.
Her offered body opened to receive
the varied seeds that Nature had in stock;
his offspring will be born in Autumn’s heaves
the unison with Summer will unlock.
Her fruitful bearing crowns the seasons’ course,
as passion shared with Nature grants her force.

-----

Loving Thee

Each heartbeat strengthens my resolve
to worship thee within my core;
with cleansing blood I thee absolve
of guilt once spent on heartbreak’s shore.
To worship thee within my core,
I promise thee with complete trust;
I can’t resist whom I adore,
but welcome thee in love and lust.
I promise thee with complete trust
to love and hold thee in my arms,
I’ll welcome thee in love and lust-
will tease thee with my offered charms.
In honour of a pledge once made,
we’ll walk the sharp edge of this blade.

-----

Loving You II

In dreams I see your smiling face,
your tilted head, inviting eyes;
I feel our fingers interlace
at our reluctant, last goodbyes.
Your tilted head, inviting eyes,
I’ll see again when we next meet;
then our reluctant last goodbyes
join other memories, bittersweet.
I’ll see again, when we next meet,
your laughing mouth, ready to kiss.
We’ll share our memories, bittersweet,
of times apart- we’ll reminisce.
Soothed, are those lonely days apart-
we’re one, in body, mind and heart.

-----

Reflections

Each night at dusk I go and feed my fish.
They know my pace, come up to welcome me-
as whirling flakes touch water’s face, they swish
to feed and frolic through reflected trees.
They know my pace, come up to welcome me
and do not fear the shadow of my hand,
but feed and frolic through reflected trees.
The joy is shared, in water and on land.
They do not fear the shadow of my hand,
repeating rites caused trust to grow each night;
thus joy is shared, in water and on land-
in harmony we cherish Sun’s last light.
As whirling flakes touch water’s face, they swish-
Each night at dusk, I go and feed my fish.

-----

Summer’s Breeze

Soft-fingered, summer’s breeze plays with my hair,
it tickles on the tips of Sun-kissed breasts
as languidly I stretch upon my chair
and watch the birds fly to and fro their nests.
It tickles on the tips of Sun-kissed breasts
and sings among the leaves, in tune with wings.
I watch the birds fly to and fro their nests,
where fledglings wait for food their parent brings.
It sings among the leaves, in tune with wings,
I hear the bumble-bees on honey-search;
Where fledglings wait for food their parent brings,
a cat in hiding holds, prepared to lurch.
I doze, relaxing in Sun’s warm embrace
and wave a daring fly off from my face.

back to list

Trewir Wintlek

A Most Pleasurable Day

A most pleasurable, yet outrageous day today
Where hundreds of bikers rode nude up streets
I was aroused and amused at this unusual display
Some shocked; some jumped right out of their seats
Bikes and naked bodies rode up and down the streets
I sat with others outside a café, along the southern coast
Some were shocked; some jumped right out of their seats
Others called police and others questioned the host
I sat with others outside a café, along the southern coast
Amused and somewhat confused at their playful way
Others called police and others questioned the host
Car fumes and accidents kill, will cycling be here to stay?
Amused and somewhat confused at their playful way
A pleasurable, outrageous day; shame it’s the end of day

-----

Arousing And Overflowing Nature

The wild wind outside is roaring
The leaves are soaring and dancing
Arousing dust from earth’s flooring
As I open the door and I’m glancing
Leaves are prancing, doing their dance
The river’s foaming and lashing its spray
I close the door; taking one last glance
And hear the roaring winds music today
The river outside is overflowing its spray
Seeping inside the cracks of windows
And I hear the roaring of my voice all day
Weeping and shouting; rooms overflows
Between the crying and pouring windows
I float inside other rooms now overflowed

-----

Dedication-From My Heart

True love has captured two companions emptiness
With strength from love once stirred and thrived
To praise their love, they have been faithfully blessed
And the meaning of love becomes alive and revived
From the loved ones once stirred and sincerely thrived
They’re rejoicing about your new compassionate love
Their wishes and assurance have sincerely arrived
From Jesus Christ our savior from heaven above
On earth we’ll celebrate your kindhearted love
With praise, love and admiration for the both of you
From Jesus Christ our savior, from the heaven above
From family from friends we’ll forever love you two
With praise, love and admiration for the both of you
From my heart to both of you, I’ll always love you two.

-----

Dreams of love long ago

Tonight the night grows dark and I am all alone
yet once again I can dream of you and I in love again
Scarce are memories when we were young and all alone
Yet tender dreams tonight, I’ll dream of you again
Once again I seek your love in loving dreams again
In arms of strength and warmth, bonding in loves caress
tender loving dreams of you and I unfold in dreams again
Love was right or was it wrong in tender forwardness?
I ask you what we would have had, had we known
Would today in each others arms be of sweet finesse?
Was loving you a weak spot, yet in dreams intensely known
Love was right, yet we were wrong in loving friendliness
Oh how I wish I could linger in the arms of love long ago
I’ll close my eyes tonight and dream of some unknown.

-----

Drifting Stars

Drifting off into another fun filled place
Where billions of stars create lovely passion
And thoughts drift exposing a new loves face
Up high where plentiful stars to wish upon
Billions of stars once again stirs passion
Stars brightly shinning on this clear night
Tonight stars are plentiful to wish upon
And streaking the skies darkened blue night
Stars brightly shinning on this clear night
Thoughts drift and land in a loving place
And streaking the skies darkened blue night
Memories replaced with new thoughts race
Stars brightly shinning on this clear night
With Memories replaced and new feelings race.

-----

Ending Of Stars

Just Like everything, stars will be extinct
No more wishing pure darkness sets in
One by one they fall, no longer distinct
Star lights burn out and wishes wear thin
No more wishing pure darkness sets in
The stars, the moon the sun will be gone
Star lights burn out and wishes wear thin
Darkness surrounds and people withdrawn
The stars, the moon, the sun will be gone
Stars collide and all dreams are erased
Darkness surrounds and people withdrawn
Ending the galaxies and horror sets the pace
The stars collide and all our wishes are erased
Ending the galaxies and horror sets the pace.

-----

For The People

For people around the world, there must be a better way
And make a decision joining the world into peaceful goals
To trigger chain reactions of more caring days
Aren’t you tired of destructive attitudes from toilet bowls?
Let’s make decisions leading world to more powerful goals
A higher supreme, gives solutions in philosophers dreams
and tell how to rid anger, drug attitudes from toilet bowls!
Descriptive, surprised, dreams, full of betterment schemes
A higher supreme, introduces solutions in all sages dreams
Something special, somehow, someday; beyond compare
Descriptive, unexpected things to better worldly schemes
Experiences of fulfillment of our cares, will be repaired
Something special, somehow, someday; beyond compare
Will arise knowledge, healing all things and be repaired

-----

Speechless

Tantalizing pain from kisses each night
When passions speechless and pulse arise
Reassuring pain in my thoughts delight
How could I die when kissed by surprised?
When passion sighs and impulse arise
From death to life, I have fully recover
How could I die when love holds surprise?
I hear my heart screaming; will I recover?
From death to life we’ve rearranged the covers
After loves been served at our nightly feast
closing our eyes; cuddled in arms of our lover
Such love given and our passion deceased
Tantalized images of romanticizing each night
Today I expect to die… of heavens delight.

back to list

Nicola Wynter

Blooming Roses

First buds of spring are much like gems
Small and sweetly scented by love
Tokens of what's yet to come to them,
Second only to radiant syn above.
Small and sweetly scented by love
Each one a masterpiece of nature,
Second only to radiant sun above
Blooming by its warmth to mature.
Each one a masterpiece of nature
Brought forth in dozens of colors,
Blooming by sure warmth to mature
Into the perfection of life's allure.
First buds of spring are much like gems
Tokens of what's yet to come from them.

-----

Oceans Depth

In oceans deep spry sea nymphs play,
The pleasure their sea-fan harps evoke
Gives brightness where there's no light of day,
Midnights rule powers love songs they bespoke.
The pleasure their sea-fan harps evoke
Suit the tides that full moons pull belies,
Midnights rule powers love songs they bespoke,
The raiment of earth where lovers sigh
Suit the tides that full moons pull belies,
Magnetic as sweet lullaby's clothe our ears,
The raiment of earth where lovers sigh
Carry the tune from deep sea to stratosphere.
In oceans deep spry sea nymphs play,
Give brightness where there's no light of day.

-----

Over and Over

Over and over, I hear you
Knowing you can never see me
Nor speak of love without a shew
Recalling weakness didn't flee
Knowing you can never hear me
Not able to communicate
Recalling weakness didn't flee
So much time passed, each time I'd wait
Not able to communicate
For all the words that we then shared
So much time passed, each time I'd wait
Propriety dashed hope of care
For all the words that we then shared
Propriety dashed hope of care.

back to list




Any Comments or Suggestions, please email me
2007 Poetry Challenge
The Poets Garret
Tir Na nOg Poetry Community