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2007 Form Challenges
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The Pantoum was originally a Malaysian form of poetry, but was adopted and adapted by the French and became very popular with them,
Fouinet, Hugo and Baudelaire, being amongst the foremost users of this form.
The French liked it probably because of the way the quatrains were linked to each other, making it similar to existing French forms. The rhyme pattern is as follows; A1, B1, A2, B2, ... B1, C1, B2, C2, etc, the last stanza being Z1, A2, Z2, A1, note the reversal of the final repeat couplet thus completeing the circle. The Pantoum lends itself very easily to the sonnet form. It is only necessary to present three stanzas and the mandatory two lines can come either from the third stanza to form the final couplet as if it were the Malay form, or in keeping with the spirit of the French form circling back with the reversed couplets (A2, A1). I would suggest the repetition would make it a very powerful sonnet form:
The final alternative closure is to use a new couplet E1. E2. This would be extremely useful in the Free Pantoum version. |
Pantoum Sonnet Challenge Replies
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Maryse AchongThey get behind the wheel, and people die, Victims of drivers who have ‘lost control’, No comforting those left behind who cry, With no end to the spiralling death toll. Victims of drivers who have ‘lost control’, People who drink and insist they can drive, With no end to the spiralling death toll, Yet often they’re the ones who will survive. People who drink and insist they can drive, Their car a death trap in their drunken state, Yet often they’re the ones who will survive, Their remorse after, ‘too little too late.’ ‘Arrive Alive’ the slogan’s everywhere, It has not stopped the carnage that’s out there. ----- Labour Day Celebrations Today Unions celebrate Labour Day, As their members parade the streets en masse, A chance for them to speak, to have their say, Although within their ranks there’s an impasse. As their members parade the streets en masse “Forward ever, backward never” they chant, Although within their ranks there’s an impasse; Some things they agree on, others they can’t. “Forward ever, backward never,” they chant, Yet still their ‘unity’ is somewhat flawed, Some things they agree on, others they can’t, Divided loyalties - a two edged sword. And whilst some of the leaders seem quite glum, The crowds are singing “We shall overcome,” ----- Loverly Love is supposed to be a joyous thing, A time when all the world seems glorious, When happy thoughts fill minds and make hearts sing, And spirits are gentle and generous A time when all the world seems glorious, For problems shared are problems halved, you see, And spirits are gentle and generous, For love makes us the best that we can be. For problems shared are problems halved, you see, When each one knows the other’s love is true, For love makes us the best that we can be, Secure that our beloved loves us too. When there is trust being in love is good, Without trust we’re just ‘spinning top in mud.’ ----- Softly Though I thought I’d recall each time I cried, I lost count of my tears along the way; Still I am sure somewhere some seas have dried: Life was a dark tunnel, no light of day. I lost count of my tears along the way, Too many losses to withstand the pain, Life was a dark tunnel, no light of day, I thought that I would never smile again. Too many losses to withstand the pain, So many reasons for my great distress, I thought that I would never smile again, My life was in turmoil I must confess. But time and memories are life’s sweet balm, And after raging storms there comes the calm. ----- Still Shining There was a time I had stars in my eyes, Life dimmed them until they no longer shone And happy laughter was replaced with sighs; I felt the few stars left had fin’lly flown. Life dimmed them until they no longer shone, I believed this for I’d become near blind, I felt the few stars left had fin’lly flown, I did not know some light was left behind. I believed this for I’d become near blind, My eyes were clouded so I could not see, I did not know some light was left behind Great joy still lay ahead in life for me. Though great joy lay ahead in life for me My eyes were blinded so I could not see. ----- Thoughts on a Father's Day Another Father’s Day has come around, Another day of wishing you were here, And although many years have flown I’ve found I miss you just as much, year after year. Another day of wishing you were here, Although I know you’d run your earthly race, I miss you just as much year after year, I would give anything to see you face. Although I know you’d run your earthly race, That you were weary then, ready to go, I would give anything to see your face, But you are happy where you are I know. So Dad if you’re around you’ll hear me say “I love and miss you, Happy Father’s Day.” back to list |
Lorraine DafneyCome sit and have a cup of tea, as steam rises, we shall both dream of younger days, when time was free and the world's future looked supreme. As steam rises we shall both dream, try to picture memory lane and follow the moon's, bright moon beams that float on the past's open plains. Try to picture memory lane, where pretty wild flowers grow tall beside promises that remain, peace waits, patiently, for its call. Where pretty wild flowers grow tall, come sit and have a cup of tea. back to list |
Ryter RoethicleAgain and again, I kiss your lips Knowing you can no longer feel me Nor feel the touch of my fingertips But I remember what used to be Knowing you can no longer feel me No longer able to feel your heat But I remember what used to be How strong our hearts used to beat. No longer can I feel your heat For fate has made us part How strong our hearts used to beat. Yet I know I can feel your heart. For fate has made us part Yet I know I can feel your heart. ----- Claire de Lune The moonlight shines on singing waters a chorus repeated by humming stones a composition of competing meters that brings peace to my stressed bones. A chorus repeated by humming stones under the light of a strawberry moon that brings peace to my stressed bones, it’s not hard for a soul to become attuned. Under the light of a strawberry moon two lovers watch falling under its spell. It’s not hard for a soul to become attuned, As older lovers know only too well. The moonlight shines on singing waters a composition of competing meters. ----- Chiave Di Amori I have sucked thy nipples, wanting more Knowing as I do so thou mayst please me Those sweet tasty acorns swell and grow. That from thee juices flow that I may see Knowing as I do so thou mayst please me Thy flowing juices of which I sup so avidly That from thee juices flow that I may see And in thy flow I may sup and add my key Thy flowing juices of which I sup so avidly So in a given time from it heaven pours And in thy flow I may sup and add my key That key may open so many closed doors And so in joining thee as pleasure flows I may add my simple gift of love to yours. ----- Foggy Paths The air is still, with no sound to tell the way, and a poor mortal stumbles in the mist of self survival that in time can only betray and wondering why, and the worth to exist. There is no beginning or end to this mist and the only escape is by way of dreams that shows of an idyllic way to exist so the mind conceives various schemes. Is it wrong to believe in these dreams and cut away the past with a surgeons knife trying to alter those damaging schemes, or just survive and live a mindless life? The air is still, with no sound to tell the way, does one need survive and live a mindless life? ----- I See Winter At the river I see the colours of the earth Winters water, darkness mixed with white This apparent death in reality gives birth When the cold south wind is at its height. Winters water, darkness mixed with white I have watched it change before my eyes When the cold south wind is at its height There is a lull and a sudden change in skies. I have watched it change before my eyes As northerly winds bring warmth again There is a lull and a sudden change in skies Once again winter returns and with it rain. At the river I see the colours of the earth This apparent death in reality gives birth ----- Jungle How much freer is the Jungle of Reality At home amongst the hardwood trees? I feel the energy seeping back into me In this lush shelter, I can do as I please. At home amongst the hardwood trees. Civilisation has not left it’s bitter scar In this lush shelter, I can do as I please Its here I will build my final gunyah Civilisation has not left it’s bitter scar The wounds are in the jungle of my mind Its here I will build my final gunyah Here I will rest till eternal peace I find. The wounds are in the jungle of my mind How much freer is the Jungle of Reality? ----- Prisoner Like a prisoner you have me bound to you but not with chains of hard blue steel, or counting days and weeks till freedoms due, and there are no prison bars, my hands to feel There are no chains of hard blue steel, or fear of breakout or escape, no strike or coup and there are no prison bars, my hands to feel I'll be a model prisoner, a trustee, not go askew No fear of breakout or escape, no strike or coup I have a wound from cupid’s dart that will not heal I'll be a model prisoner, a trustee, not go askew my life is sealed by chance, with just one deal Like a prisoner you have me bound to you My life is sealed by chance, with just one deal ----- Puzzle that is Me Some pieces have dropped on the floor The jig-saw that is me is laid out to see. Long forgotten, thought hid forevermore Would you pick those pieces up carefully? The jig-saw that is me is laid out to see. Make sure the corners and edges are first. Would you pick those pieces up carefully, This outer shell that has taken the worst? Make sure the corners and edges are first. Piece by piece I shape and come into view This outer shell that has taken the worst? Scarred and battered pieces the final few. Now it is completed tell me what you see What’s before you is the puzzle that is me. ----- Quality Beach Look into my eyes, as the moon lights the night The oceans waves continue to dance for you Percussion sounding as each wave retreats Sending out its Bolero rhythm on the stone. The oceans waves continue to dance for you There is no warm softness ever like this night Sending out its Bolero rhythm on the stone We press close together so our hearts may kiss There is no warm softness ever like this night Save the smile on your lips I’ve come to know We press close together so our hearts may kiss The world becomes still savouring the moment And we will be held together forever like this By everlasting memories of this night. ----- Quetzal Hear the drumbeat of my heart as you near Pounding, beating with my desire for you The canyons echo the pulsing rhythm of love As our bodies meld in the eternal dance. Pounding, beating with my desire for you The throbbing of my heart takes control As our bodies meld in the eternal dance The flaming of our souls joins us forever. The throbbing of my heart takes control I am lost, blinded in your passions heat The flaming of our souls joins us forever Forever I will know that we are the Sun Forever I will know that we are the Sun And future lovers will look to us. ----- Though cloaked in darkness Though cloaked in darkness, there is yet light The far flown hope may yet become a dream By consuming the fuel of self it’s kept bright Keeping warm in that glow see hopes gleam. The far flown hope may yet become a dream And what are dreams but tomorrow’s reality Keeping warm in that glow see hopes gleam. That warmth becomes a fire for all eternity. And what are dreams but tomorrow’s reality The gate to freedom that is opened by belief That warmth becomes a fire for all eternity. And that belief with time will bring relief. Though cloaked in darkness, there is yet light And that belief with time will bring relief. ----- When When only your dreams and the stars are left And the moon has deserted the morning sky When the winds finally sleep enjoying their rest And clouds are gone and there is no lullaby. When the moon has deserted the morning sky And birds no longer silenced go about the day When clouds are gone and there is no lullaby Instead the sun’s out and once again we pray. When birds no longer silenced go about the day Searching parched earth for food and life When the sun’s out and once again we pray For rain and cool and an end to this strife. When man finally realises what he has to give In order that the he and the world may live. ----- Writers block My rhymes don’t have that ring and my metre seems to chatter my concentration doesn’t have that zing and all my words just seem like clatter and my metre seems to chatter imagery is faded like watercolours in the rain and all my words just seem like clatter everything is meaningless, every line’s a strain. imagery is faded like watercolours in the rain staring blankly at the screen until I want to shout everything is meaningless, every line’s a strain I don’t know what to say and nothing will come out. I don’t know what to say and nothing will come out staring blankly at the screen until I want to shout. ----- Zet Machis (Stupid) Gliding off into the depths of time A mixture of frustration and hope Fuel the imagination in my mind From gathered parts that built a boat. A mixture of frustration and hope With a wish to sail endless dreams From gathered parts that built a boat. And set out to let off some steam. With a wish to sail endless dreams Those dreams with faces never shown And set out to let off some steam. Seeking a destiny that I’ve outgrown A mixture of frustration and hope Seeking a destiny that I’ve outgrown. back to list |
Leny RooversGone are the treetops from my sight, they disappeared behind brick walls- as highrise grows, expands its blight. Sharp metal clanging blocks birds’ calls. They disappeared behind brick walls as floors were added day by day; sharp metal clanging blocks birds’ calls- spoiled is my view of trees in sway. As floors were added day by day, my room grew darker, missed Sun’s touch; spoiled is my view of trees in sway- stolen my joy in sparrows’ clutch. Gone are the treetops from my sight, As highrise grows, expands its blight. ----- Fruit-bearing Young Summer’s pregnant belly is extending- as seeds were planted in her womb in spring, she did conceive- awaits the perfect blending love's consummation rites at last will bring. As seeds were planted in her womb in spring, her offered body opened to receive. Then consummation rites at last will bring her lovers’ offspring from her birthing heaves. Her offered body opened to receive the varied seeds that Nature had in stock; his offspring will be born in Autumn’s heaves the unison with Summer will unlock. Her fruitful bearing crowns the seasons’ course, as passion shared with Nature grants her force. ----- Loving Thee Each heartbeat strengthens my resolve to worship thee within my core; with cleansing blood I thee absolve of guilt once spent on heartbreak’s shore. To worship thee within my core, I promise thee with complete trust; I can’t resist whom I adore, but welcome thee in love and lust. I promise thee with complete trust to love and hold thee in my arms, I’ll welcome thee in love and lust- will tease thee with my offered charms. In honour of a pledge once made, we’ll walk the sharp edge of this blade. ----- Loving You II In dreams I see your smiling face, your tilted head, inviting eyes; I feel our fingers interlace at our reluctant, last goodbyes. Your tilted head, inviting eyes, I’ll see again when we next meet; then our reluctant last goodbyes join other memories, bittersweet. I’ll see again, when we next meet, your laughing mouth, ready to kiss. We’ll share our memories, bittersweet, of times apart- we’ll reminisce. Soothed, are those lonely days apart- we’re one, in body, mind and heart. ----- Reflections Each night at dusk I go and feed my fish. They know my pace, come up to welcome me- as whirling flakes touch water’s face, they swish to feed and frolic through reflected trees. They know my pace, come up to welcome me and do not fear the shadow of my hand, but feed and frolic through reflected trees. The joy is shared, in water and on land. They do not fear the shadow of my hand, repeating rites caused trust to grow each night; thus joy is shared, in water and on land- in harmony we cherish Sun’s last light. As whirling flakes touch water’s face, they swish- Each night at dusk, I go and feed my fish. ----- Summer’s Breeze Soft-fingered, summer’s breeze plays with my hair, it tickles on the tips of Sun-kissed breasts as languidly I stretch upon my chair and watch the birds fly to and fro their nests. It tickles on the tips of Sun-kissed breasts and sings among the leaves, in tune with wings. I watch the birds fly to and fro their nests, where fledglings wait for food their parent brings. It sings among the leaves, in tune with wings, I hear the bumble-bees on honey-search; Where fledglings wait for food their parent brings, a cat in hiding holds, prepared to lurch. I doze, relaxing in Sun’s warm embrace and wave a daring fly off from my face. back to list |
Trewir WintlekA most pleasurable, yet outrageous day today Where hundreds of bikers rode nude up streets I was aroused and amused at this unusual display Some shocked; some jumped right out of their seats Bikes and naked bodies rode up and down the streets I sat with others outside a café, along the southern coast Some were shocked; some jumped right out of their seats Others called police and others questioned the host I sat with others outside a café, along the southern coast Amused and somewhat confused at their playful way Others called police and others questioned the host Car fumes and accidents kill, will cycling be here to stay? Amused and somewhat confused at their playful way A pleasurable, outrageous day; shame it’s the end of day ----- Arousing And Overflowing Nature The wild wind outside is roaring The leaves are soaring and dancing Arousing dust from earth’s flooring As I open the door and I’m glancing Leaves are prancing, doing their dance The river’s foaming and lashing its spray I close the door; taking one last glance And hear the roaring winds music today The river outside is overflowing its spray Seeping inside the cracks of windows And I hear the roaring of my voice all day Weeping and shouting; rooms overflows Between the crying and pouring windows I float inside other rooms now overflowed ----- Dedication-From My Heart True love has captured two companions emptiness With strength from love once stirred and thrived To praise their love, they have been faithfully blessed And the meaning of love becomes alive and revived From the loved ones once stirred and sincerely thrived They’re rejoicing about your new compassionate love Their wishes and assurance have sincerely arrived From Jesus Christ our savior from heaven above On earth we’ll celebrate your kindhearted love With praise, love and admiration for the both of you From Jesus Christ our savior, from the heaven above From family from friends we’ll forever love you two With praise, love and admiration for the both of you From my heart to both of you, I’ll always love you two. ----- Dreams of love long ago Tonight the night grows dark and I am all alone yet once again I can dream of you and I in love again Scarce are memories when we were young and all alone Yet tender dreams tonight, I’ll dream of you again Once again I seek your love in loving dreams again In arms of strength and warmth, bonding in loves caress tender loving dreams of you and I unfold in dreams again Love was right or was it wrong in tender forwardness? I ask you what we would have had, had we known Would today in each others arms be of sweet finesse? Was loving you a weak spot, yet in dreams intensely known Love was right, yet we were wrong in loving friendliness Oh how I wish I could linger in the arms of love long ago I’ll close my eyes tonight and dream of some unknown. ----- Drifting Stars Drifting off into another fun filled place Where billions of stars create lovely passion And thoughts drift exposing a new loves face Up high where plentiful stars to wish upon Billions of stars once again stirs passion Stars brightly shinning on this clear night Tonight stars are plentiful to wish upon And streaking the skies darkened blue night Stars brightly shinning on this clear night Thoughts drift and land in a loving place And streaking the skies darkened blue night Memories replaced with new thoughts race Stars brightly shinning on this clear night With Memories replaced and new feelings race. ----- Ending Of Stars Just Like everything, stars will be extinct No more wishing pure darkness sets in One by one they fall, no longer distinct Star lights burn out and wishes wear thin No more wishing pure darkness sets in The stars, the moon the sun will be gone Star lights burn out and wishes wear thin Darkness surrounds and people withdrawn The stars, the moon, the sun will be gone Stars collide and all dreams are erased Darkness surrounds and people withdrawn Ending the galaxies and horror sets the pace The stars collide and all our wishes are erased Ending the galaxies and horror sets the pace. ----- For The People For people around the world, there must be a better way And make a decision joining the world into peaceful goals To trigger chain reactions of more caring days Aren’t you tired of destructive attitudes from toilet bowls? Let’s make decisions leading world to more powerful goals A higher supreme, gives solutions in philosophers dreams and tell how to rid anger, drug attitudes from toilet bowls! Descriptive, surprised, dreams, full of betterment schemes A higher supreme, introduces solutions in all sages dreams Something special, somehow, someday; beyond compare Descriptive, unexpected things to better worldly schemes Experiences of fulfillment of our cares, will be repaired Something special, somehow, someday; beyond compare Will arise knowledge, healing all things and be repaired ----- Speechless Tantalizing pain from kisses each night When passions speechless and pulse arise Reassuring pain in my thoughts delight How could I die when kissed by surprised? When passion sighs and impulse arise From death to life, I have fully recover How could I die when love holds surprise? I hear my heart screaming; will I recover? From death to life we’ve rearranged the covers After loves been served at our nightly feast closing our eyes; cuddled in arms of our lover Such love given and our passion deceased Tantalized images of romanticizing each night Today I expect to die… of heavens delight. back to list |
Nicola WynterFirst buds of spring are much like gems Small and sweetly scented by love Tokens of what's yet to come to them, Second only to radiant syn above. Small and sweetly scented by love Each one a masterpiece of nature, Second only to radiant sun above Blooming by its warmth to mature. Each one a masterpiece of nature Brought forth in dozens of colors, Blooming by sure warmth to mature Into the perfection of life's allure. First buds of spring are much like gems Tokens of what's yet to come from them. ----- Oceans Depth In oceans deep spry sea nymphs play, The pleasure their sea-fan harps evoke Gives brightness where there's no light of day, Midnights rule powers love songs they bespoke. The pleasure their sea-fan harps evoke Suit the tides that full moons pull belies, Midnights rule powers love songs they bespoke, The raiment of earth where lovers sigh Suit the tides that full moons pull belies, Magnetic as sweet lullaby's clothe our ears, The raiment of earth where lovers sigh Carry the tune from deep sea to stratosphere. In oceans deep spry sea nymphs play, Give brightness where there's no light of day. ----- Over and Over Over and over, I hear you Knowing you can never see me Nor speak of love without a shew Recalling weakness didn't flee Knowing you can never hear me Not able to communicate Recalling weakness didn't flee So much time passed, each time I'd wait Not able to communicate For all the words that we then shared So much time passed, each time I'd wait Propriety dashed hope of care For all the words that we then shared Propriety dashed hope of care. back to list |
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