2009 Form Challenges

#20 Villanelle

The Villanelle is a wonderfully challenging poetry form. It consists of ninteen lines which comprise of two rhymes that are very different in the way they are used.
The unique thing about this form is that the first and third lines of the first verse become the alternating final lines of the next four verses. So the choice of the first and last line is very important and more so because in the last stanza they form a couplet and become the "Closure".
If things weren't difficult enough already, all the 2nd lines of each stanza rhyme with each other.
The Dylan Thomas Poem below, is considered to be the finest example of this form and to help look at the rhyme patterns I've broken the lines into colour. Purple has been cosen for the first line and Red for third line of the first stanza.
The first line of each follows the first stanza rhyme.
Blue for the centre line rhyme. This line is probably the most important line in each stanza and the most difficult one to construct and I would recommend care in selecting your primary rhyme.


Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night,

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night,

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night,

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.




Villanelle Challenge Replies

Maryse Achong

They Dared Me
Tippling

Divena Collins

Autumns Child
Footprints in the Sand
In Love
Moonlight Sonata
When Love is Blind

Jem Farmer

Armistice
Betwixt Waning and Waxing
Can Love Reside In Art?
Enchantments of Love
Heavy on the Vine

Ryter Roethicle

Darkness Looms
Full Moon's Light
Left Counting the Stars
Nature
Oceanic Thoughts
Only Time Will Tell
Prisoner of Love
Victims Roll
Zeehan Sunsets
Zetetic

Leny Roovers

Forever
Within You

Nia Wynne

We Can't Forget



Maryse Achong

They Dared Me

They dared me to compose a villanelle
And I was inclined to attempt this feat,
But I'm not sure I did it very well.

I gave it my best shot, oh what the hell
Threw fear aside and jumped in with both feet…
They dared me to compose a villanelle.

And even though I hear a warning bell
Too late for doubts, can't leave it incomplete:
But I'm not sure I did it very well.

I wonder why on earth I let them sell
Me the idea… am tempted to retreat.
They dared me to compose a villanelle.

But I'm no quitter that much I can tell
You, so I refused to concede defeat,
But I'm not sure I did it very well.

It's nearly done and I can almost smell
The scent of victory, and it is sweet.
They dared me to compose a villanelle
But I'm not sure I did it very well.

-----

Tippling

Though I'm no heavy drinker I admit
That off and off I've tippled, so to speak;
Enjoying a good drink is quite legit.

The trick is to know when its time to quit
If not the outcome can be somewhat bleak,
Though I'm no heavy drinker I admit.

It can be rather pleasant just to sit
And relax after a harrowing week.
Enjoying a good drink is quite legit.

And there are times I feel I need a bit
Of strength so I can turn the other cheek,
Though I'm no heavy drinker I admit.

A shot of Baileys usually does it;
No rum or brandy they both make me weak.
Enjoying a good drink is quite legit.

And so every now and then I permit
Myself a glass of Baileys, smooth and sleek.
Though I'm no heavy drinker I admit
Enjoying a good drink is quite legit.

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Divena Collins

Autumns Child

Oh autumn child, come hither now, and blow
Gentle gusts of breath, on a heavy branch
Before the winter winds bring forth the snow

Crinkled leaves, scatter on the earth below,
Here and there, they fly in a frenzied dance,
Oh autumn child, come hither now, and blow.

Forever remaining, the cosy nest of the crow,
Oblivious to the seasons, in her rigid stance,
Before the winter winds bring forth the snow.

Let the rains bring music, the earth to bestow.
To cover the leaves, making loam to enhance,
Oh autumn child, come hither now, and blow,

Shine full, bright moon, on the forest we know,
Let the winds come forth, for a final chance.
Before the winter winds bring forth the snow.

Seasons may come, and the seasons may go
Fine shades of autumn, are natures romance,
Oh Autumn child,come hither now, and blow,
Before the winter winds, bring forth the snow.



-----

Footprints in the Sand

As we tread softly, our foot prints in the sand
Feelings, deep in my heart, of true love divine
Soft kisses bestowed, upon a trembling hand.

Gazing across the sea, towards a far off land,
Where peace, and tranquility, reign sublime,
As we tread softly, our footprints in the sand.

Uplifting spirits, deep emotions. never planned
Only love can withhold the memories of time,
Soft kisses bestowed, upon a trembling hand.

I`d travel across the wide ocean, and land,
Just to see the stars, in your blue eyes shine,
As we tread softly, our footprints in the sand.

True love that has grown, shall always expand,
To forever be yours, and for you to be mine ,
Soft kisses bestowed, upon a trembling hand.

One fine day, we will both, make our stand,
And await for the moon, to give us a sign,
As we tread softly, our footprints in the sand
Soft kisses bestowed, upon a trembling hand.



-----

Moonlight Sonata

A violinist who plays, in the moons light,
The most beautiful, bewitching refrains,
So haunting, within this moonlit night.

With passion and flare, she now invites
Moonlight sonata, in her dreams domain
A violinist who plays, in the moons light.

Love`s sweet sound, that does excite,
Her passion for strings still ordains
So haunting, within this moonlit night.

A music virtuoso, in her own right,
In her heart she forever remains,
A violinist who plays, in the moons light.

A soft tremello, as her bow takes flight,
Brushing her strings to perfection again,
So haunting, within this moonlit night.

Under the stars that shines so bright
This new musician which entertains,
A violinist who plays, in the moons light,
So haunting, within this moonlit night.



-----

In Love

There were no words, for we both knew,
True love had mirrored in our eyes,
Since this day our fond affections grew.

Passions of love, shared between us two,
For us, it was never to be a surprise,
There were no words, for we both knew.

Our love we now share, everyday anew,
Closer together, as temperatures rise,
Since this day, our fond affections grew.

Soft shades of love, with a beautiful hue,
Spirits that soar, to the clear blue sky`s,
There were no words, for we both knew.

Dreaming how precious, love is so true.
Soft flutters inside, like butterfly`s,
Since this day, our fond affections grew.

Loving each other, now as much as we do,
Heartfelt and strong, yet as soft sigh`s,
There were no words, for we both knew,
Since this day, our fond affections grew.



-----

When Love is Blind

Eyes do not see when love is blind
Of fantasy, and imagined inner vision,
Registered in a brain, that is so defined.

If love, and lust, are so much of a kind,
How is one to make, the right decision,
Eyes do not see, when love is blind.

When inner feelings, are there to remind
There must always be, that last revision,
Registered in a brain,that is so defined

Devoted hearts, will both be entwined.
This love possessed, now to envision
Eyes do not see, when love is blind.

Dreams, and thoughts, of love designed
Embraced together in perfect precision,
Registered in a brain, that is so defined.

Love and fantasy, are both combined,
Passion now enters, the final provision
For eyes do not see, when love is blind.
Registered in a brain, that is so defined.



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Jem Farmer

Armistice



He lowers his hat as she wipes her tears,
when a thoughtful hush falls, as battles cease
and our silence reflects over the years.

He comes home battered and torn by his fears
in nightmarish dreams that will never decrease
he lowers his hat as she wipes her tears.

Weary soldiers greeted by grateful cheers,
from the pits of war, a brief release
and our silence reflects over the years.

As they battled on those hellish frontiers,
and life was lost at a bullet's caprice,
he lowers his hat as she wipes her tears,

From private soldiers to the brigadiers,
our sovereignty became their golden fleece
and our silence reflects over the years.

The words of remembrance ring in our ears
in heartfelt hopes and prayers for blesséd peace
he lowers his hat as she wipes her tears,
and our silence reflects over the years.

-----

Betwixt Waning and Waxing



After the last of waning moon
before the waxing of the new
where lies the darker paths of rune.

Let spite be cast and strewn
and far away from me and you
after the last of waning moon

We dance to piper's merry tune
as lunar lore comes into view
where lies the darker paths of rune.

The words of pain be left to croon,
and Queen of Fae shall guide us true
after the last of waning moon.

Listen close where whispers commune
amid the Autumn's vibrant hue
where lies the darker paths of rune.

Secrets revealed too fast, too soon,
yet still our hearts come shining through
after the last of waning moon
where lies the darker paths of rune.

-----

Can Love Reside in Art?



I wonder what she sees when peering in my curtained heart,
do clouds of fortune bring intense reflection
as cries of thought invade my mind; can love reside in art?

Her magic charm invoking pages of the Grimoire's chart,
enchanting aura's discreet fascination;
I wonder what she sees when peering in my curtained heart.

Are mystic dreams now trapped in silica then teased apart?
My dreams of wistful longings mere distraction;
as cries of thought invade my mind; can love reside in art?

Becharming mistress scries the hazy thoughts that gods impart,
but can she see my haunting aspiration?
I wonder what she sees when peering in my curtained heart.

Hypnotic sunsets carry musical strains of Mozart;
can sacred visions inspire such devotion;
as cries of thought invade my mind; can love reside in art?

Beneath her cool composure burns a cold, unbeating heart,
the path that leads beyond my last damnation
I wonder what she sees when peering in my curtained heart,
as cries of thought invade my mind; can love reside in art?

-----

Enchantments of Love

Wrap me within the gaze that bewitches me
Seduce my mind as my lips kiss your soul
Gather me to you and set my heart free

Fingers touch revealing what mystics see
In hazy eyes, find love's magical goal
Wrap me within the gaze that bewitches me

Muted emotions crave spellbound liberty
Enchantments of love mundane doubts console
Gather me to you and set my heart free

A single word can fill my heart with glee
But your eyes reflect where my senses roll
Wrap me within the gaze that bewitches me

The briefest glance denies me reality
Overwhelmed senses I can not control
Gather me to you and set my heart free

In love's chains, show my heart clarity
Lost in your loving eyes I become whole
Wrap me within the gaze that bewitches me
Gather me to you and set my heart free

-----

Heavy on the Vine

Now grapes are hanging heavy on the vine,
in valleys neath the blazing summer sun.
and senses yearn to savour fragrant wine

All thoughts are lost and memories resign,
as dreams recall a time of loving fun,
when grapes were hanging heavy on the vine

For love has flown beyond the mortal line,
but feelings say we are forever one,
and senses yearn to savour fragrant wine

Each night I sleep and find that love is mine,
until the dawn reveals the world I shun
when grapes are hanging heavy on the vine

As reflections fall like silver moonshine,
I whisper on the breeze. 'I love you, hun!'
and senses yearn to savour fragrant wine

Those precious dreams in which our souls combine,
exalt the day my life is truly done
when grapes are hanging heavy on the vine
and senses yearn to savour fragrant wine

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Ryter Roethical

Darkness Looms



When darkness looms, tomorrow fades away
No comforting light shines upon or within
It's hard to see beyond this part of day.

Tonight only foulest evil shall hold sway
And blackest night shall pave the way for sin
When darkness looms, tomorrow fades away.

Deep in the night is when the wicked play
Fixating on sorrow's gruelling tailspin
It's hard to see beyond this part of day.

Around this corruption purest white turns grey
Night creatures shrieks are making a hellish din
When darkness looms, tomorrow fades away

All living things seem hollow, yet full of decay
As long as it stays dark, evil will always win
It's hard to see beyond this part of day.

Corruption and decay, lusting from evils prey
All this to whiteness and goodness's chagrin
When darkness looms, tomorrow fades away
It's hard to see beyond this part of day.

-----

Full Moons Light



As I lead you by the hand into the night
We steal away from the cares of the day
Our way is well lit by the full moons light.

Our hearts sure what we're doing is right
And of tomorrows woe's no hint give they
As I lead you by the hand into the night.

The shadowy flutter of an owl in flight
Leads us happily along the wooded way
Our way is well lit by the full moons light.

I gaze at you, seeing eyes that shine so bright
Craving that this moment should ever stay
As I lead you by the hand into the night.

In the woods our loving bodies finally unite
And love we will until the break of day
Our way is well lit by the full moons light.

Now ever bound together by this loving rite
As arms and limbs are laced in our interplay
As I lead you by the hand into the night
Our way is well lit by the full moons light.

-----

Left Counting the Stars



Now is the time for tears, no more loud hurrahs
You are gone; my bed is now empty and silent.
With the death of love, I'm left counting the stars.

When our love was new we had no scars
With time and self doubt you missed what I meant.
Now is the time for tears, no more loud hurrahs

Now you have turned your back and put up bars
And all that remains now of you is your scent.
With the death of love, I'm left counting the stars.

There is no prize, no cheers and no fat cigar
Just a terrible feeling of my life being spent.
Now is the time for tears, no more loud hurrahs

Now I see a zero of all I thought was ours
What can I do, can I hope or must I lament?
With the death of love, I'm left counting the stars.

The radio is playing the music of sad guitars
My road to Hell was paved with good intent.
Now is the time for tears, no more loud hurrahs
With the death of love, I'm left counting the stars.

-----

Nature



All things were given to man and his conceit
To live in simple ways upon this Earth
Somewhere to live and an abundance to eat.

Living as one with the Earth, a simple feat
Feeding, nourishing, finding out life's worth
All things were given to man and his conceit

The ancients never had need to steal or cheat
The bosom of Nature is a bountiful berth
Somewhere to live and an abundance to eat.

Some want a world where they are the heat
Where misery is good and the sin is mirth
All things were given to man and his conceit

Those who know, never have to compete
Following ancient ways there is no dearth
Somewhere to live and an abundance to eat.

We must return to the path to be complete
Sharing these wonders from the time of birth.
All things were given to man and his conceit
Somewhere to live and an abundance to eat.

-----

Oceanic Thoughts



Sitting on the empty beach alone on the sand,
There is the orange fire sky of the setting sun
Inside's a desire for my lover in another land.

Things went perfect, better than we had planned,
No regrets at all for what we have begun
Sitting on the empty beach alone on the sand.

The water rushes in and out greeting my hand.
And I remember kisses and things we'd done
Inside's a desire for my lover in another land.

Although my heart aches, I think I understand
You are now my Queen and I your champion,
Sitting on the empty beach alone on the sand.

I want to run in the water, and splash around
With my memories of our times, and of our fun
Inside's a desire for my lover in another land.

I wonder does my lover have thoughts so grand
Is there anything she'd wish to have undone
Sitting on the empty beach alone on the sand,

-----

Only Time Will Tell



Love's waiting across the room for that first look,
The first smile, and the first tremor that says it all
That moment realising you're completely hooked.

There have been no guidelines set in any book
There is no mentor waiting for you to call
Love's waiting across the room for that first look.

Facebook tells you the site is always fully booked
And those that have found it can easily recall
That moment realising you're completely hooked.

There is naught you wont do, by hook or by crook
On your knees on broken glass you would crawl
Love's waiting across the room for that first look.

No faults, there's nothing needed to overlook
The truth is there within fates crystal ball
That moment realising you're completely hooked.

And you find contentment, now you have looked
In comparison all your previous lovers pall.
Love's waiting across the room for that first look
That moment realising you're completely hooked.

-----

Prisoner of Love



Like a prisoner you have me bound to you
But not with chains of hard blue steel
No counting days and weeks till freedom due.

There was no crime, or deed, or whistle blew
There are no prison bars, my hands to feel
Like a prisoner you have me bound to you.

Instead its bonds of love that the angels brew
A wound from Cupid's dart that will not heal
No counting days and weeks till freedom due.

No fear of breakout or escape, no strike or coup
My life is sealed by chance, just one deal
Like a prisoner you have me bound to you.

I'll be a model prisoner, I will not go askew
Forever true and honest and on an even keel
No counting days and weeks till freedom due.

Instead the end of each passing day I rue
You can guarantee, there will be no appeal.
Like a prisoner you have me bound to you
No counting days and weeks till freedom due.

-----

Victims Roll



Once we were lovers, now that love has gone
Replaced by nothing, just leaving a black hole
Why can't you come back so we can carry on?

I always knew that I was your only one
We grew to believe we shared just one soul
Once we were lovers, now that love has gone.

Now all those dreams I must forever abandon
This one evil act has taken us out of control
Why can't you come back so we can carry on?

This ungodly act was by one of Satan's spawn
And just like a criminal, my heart he stole.
Once we were lovers, now that love has gone.

There will be no jail, and Heaven's no home
And again Hell will take in a fellow ***hole
Why can't you come back so we can carry on?

This is no heroic war, it's where cowards fawn
Adding women and kids to their victims roll.
Once we were lovers, now that love has gone
Why can't you come back so we can carry on?

-----

Zeehan Sunsets



I see no auras or bright flashes from the sun
All I see is a red glow across the land,
Merely signs that night has at last begun.

In the mountains in the east life is done
As the blackness of night starts to expand
I see no auras or bright flashes from the sun

The magnificent scene bows to what has come
Darkness hiding what is "Tasmania's grand"
Merely signs that night has at last begun.

The world most beautiful spot has been outdone
But it is all arranged and what nature planned
I see no auras or bright flashes from the sun

Beauty would become boring, Nature undone
She changes the scene so she might expand
Merely signs that night has at last begun.
With the morn, the scene refreshed, equal to none,
Witness the sight, and then you'll understand.
I see no auras or bright flashes from the sun
Merely signs that night has at last gone.

-----

Zetetic

Past experience tells me I should forget
Yet there are things we should remember
But not the times of blood, tears and sweat.

And mans stupidity and greed lingers yet
But this is all laid aside each November
Past experience tells me I should forget

That I was not there, I do not regret
And yet am proud to be called digger
But not the times of blood, tears and sweat.

There are memories of a shared cigarette
Death came with the third burning ember
Past experience tells me I should forget

Every decade world leaders refuse to commit
Whilst wall street remains the moneygrubber
But not the times of blood, tears and sweat.

For the lessons learned we are in their debt
The guilty and the greedy mentally slumber.
Past experience tells me I should forget
But not the times of blood, tears and sweat.

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Leny Roovers

Forever

Within my heart there is a special place;
it's filled with light and memories of you,
though we were never meant to win the race.
I still can hear your voice and see your face,
although we've both accepted that we're through;
within my heart, there is that special place.

I'll never be successful to erase
the treasured joy and laughter we accrued,
though we were never meant to win the race.

Some days, I know our thoughts still interlace
as with a sudden turn of mind the past sweeps through-
within my heart, there is a special place.

The years we shared, have left a lingering trace-
soft images of love, dressed in pale hues;
though we were never meant to win the race.

White thought-ships float across sky's wide blue space
as silently I whisper my adieus.
Within my heart there is a special place,
yet we were never meant to win the race.



-----

Within You

My mind is focused on your name in prayer;
my eyes are closed, while senses turn within
as I'm accepted into deeper layers.

I'm freeing all my thoughts into your care,
they're drifting upward with a gentle spin-
my mind is focused on your name in prayer.

At rest inside your peace I am aware
how stars are born in you and life begins
as I'm accepted into deeper layers.

Your touch expands my world, I am prepared
to trust the hand I feel upon my skin;
my mind is focused on your name in prayer.

I'll know you'll guide my feet on daring stairs-
above, below, you mirror worlds therein
as I'm accepted into deeper layers.

I feel my soul ablaze with sudden flare-
the boundaries between us have grown thin;
my mind is focused on your name in prayer
as I'm accepted into deeper layers.



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Nia Wynne

These Looks



Old looks, new looks, lost and forgotten,
Deserted gardens where wishes can't be found
Are places in the heart, plausible though misbegotten.

Remembering a sandy beach we walked when
The eyes of love shared in an impromptu romp, round
Old looks, new looks, lost and forgotten.

There are no words left to write or speak when
The look of love has left the stage iracund,
And places in the heart, plausible though misbegotten.

Such day dreams can never be truly gotten
For the earth has turned her face away to confound
Old looks, new looks, lost and forgotten.

Flirtations of the eyes that hold common emotion
Are the stuff of romances on the rebound
And places in the heart, plausible though misbegotten.

And now another day gone unenlightened
For two souls wishes become infound
Old looks, new looks, lost and forgotten,
With places in the heart, plausible though misbegotten.

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